What the heck...

It's been a month to the day, might as well write something out. Went through the Nashville Needlework Market grind again, perhaps my last. I don't think I'm meant for sales--at least not the face to face kind. I much prefer to let a distributor handle it or to deal with people over the phone or online. I just don't have it in me to smile and be polite for that many hours in a row!!! It just ain't me. (I know, you're really finding this hard to believe, aren't you?!) So here's what was new from me:

and

I'm rather proud of both of these, think they're very cute. I have no idea what was going on with my mind in the months leading up to actually getting on that plane to Nashville. Just could not get my ass in gear, I couldn't think of anything I wanted to do less than go to Market. It was very odd and a horrible feeling. I can't really describe it. Sinking dread at the knowledge that I was going to have to wear a decent looking outfit and stand around for hours trying to convince people to buy this stuff and SMILE about it. Blech.

Anyway I got through it by promising myself I wouldn't do it again. I just can't stomach it. Very bizarre coming from a woman who is perfectly comfortable squeezing into a corset and acting out all sorts of strange scripts on the stages of Off-Off Broadway. I recognize that. I'm a pretty outgoing person, I think. I enjoy performing on stage. I like life generally. Ask me to be "on" though and I just want to scream.

Then again it could just be because counted thread ain't the type of industry where I can say "fuck" every five words. Trying not to curse for 9 hours straight on Saturday probably had a lot to do with my headache and general bad mood! Worse was trying to act like I'm a woman who wouldn't think of saying it to begin with! Time for an image shift of Les Bons Mots. It's reflecting only one side of me. I like frilly things and sweet things and feminine things, but I really need to feel free to say fuck when the needle I'm using to stitch the frills stabs me...

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